From Dread to Delivery: The Feedback Model This xGoogle Engineering Manager Used

If I’m being completely honest, giving feedback used to be one of my least favorite parts of being a manager. In fact, when I first joined Google, I dreaded it.

I was worried about sounding like I was attacking my team or, worse, ruining a good working relationship. But as a leader, avoiding feedback is—to put it mildly—suboptimal. I realized that to help my team grow, I had to grow first.

After attending several workshops and reading everything I could find, I developed a hybrid model that combines Radical Candor, SBI (Situation, Behavior, Impact), and a concept I call Recommending with Agency.

Here is the framework that turned me from a hesitant manager into a confident coach.

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The Framework: RC + SBI + R

By combining these three powerhouses, you get a five-part model that keeps the conversation objective, supportive, and solution-oriented.

1. Radical Candor (The Foundation)

• The Goal: Establishing that you are moving in the same direction while being supportive.

Before you say anything else, let the person know you are on their side. You aren’t giving feedback to tear them down; you’re doing it because you want them to succeed.

2. Situation (The Context)

• The Goal: Setting a clear stage so there’s no confusion about what you’re discussing.

Describe the exact moment the behavior happened. Keep it objective and factual.

3. Behavior (The Action)

• The Goal: Providing clear, data-driven observations.

Describe what they did. Use the word “you.” This was the hardest part for me! I used to avoid “you” because I felt it was an attack, but being direct is actually kinder.

4. Impact (The Result)

Share how that behavior impacted you, the team, or the project.

• The Goal: Helping them see the “why” behind the feedback.

5. Recommendation (With Agency)

• The Goal: Pivot into a collaborative, problem solving discussion.

Instead of leaving them guessing on what might have been a more desired behavior (from your perspective), offer a path forward. Even if they choose a different solution, you’ve opened the door to a collaborative “roll-up-your-sleeves” conversation.

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The Model in Action: The “Over-Answering” Tech Lead

Imagine a Tech Lead (TL) who constantly answers every question in meetings, accidentally silencing the junior engineers they are supposed to be mentoring. Here is how I would deliver this feedback in a 1:1:

• RC: “I’m so happy to see how effectively you’re leading these three engineers to get our project across the finish line.”
• S: “During our product review with the Director last week…”
• B: “…you answered every question asked, even the ones specifically about the modules the junior developers built.”
• I: “Because you spoke first, those junior folks didn’t get the chance to show their expertise to the Director, which is vital for their career visibility.”
• R: “In the future, I suggest pausing to give the room a chance to answer. A trick I use is to press my tongue to the roof of my mouth and count to seven before speaking. What do you think about that approach?”

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Another Example: The Vague Manager

In this scenario, imagine a new manager of a team had presented their first annual strategic vision for the team. You are the manager’s director and one of your indirect reports shared with you confidentially that they thought the vision lacked detail, was uninspiring and they are considering leaving the team. You decide to confidentially share this with the manager in a 1:1.

• RC: “I’ve been consistently impressed with the technical execution your team has delivered this half, and I’m fully committed to helping you transition into the more strategic aspects of your leadership role because I want to see you succeed.”
• S: “During the department-wide planning session last Tuesday, and in my subsequent skip-level conversations this week…”
• B: “… you presented the team’s three-year roadmap as a list of broad themes—like ‘Improving Efficiency’—but did not provide specific milestones nor a defined ‘North Star’ metric. When your senior engineers asked for concrete objectives, your responses remained high-level and did not define what success looks like.”
• I: “Because the vision lacks specific clarity, some of your top talent is feeling unanchored. Specifically, one of your key reports told me they no longer have confidence in the team’s direction and is now considering a transfer to another team where they feel the strategy is more defined.”
• R: “I suggest we dedicate our next two 1:1s to drafting a ‘Strategic One-Pager’ that translates those broad themes into measurable key results. I’d like to see you present a revised version to the team by next Friday. I can share a template that worked well for me in the past. What do you think about starting there?”

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Mastering Feedback

Moving from hesitation to confidence in your feedback doesn’t happen overnight, but having a system makes it much easier. When you lead with agency, you aren’t just pointing out problems—you’re building leaders.

Have a “sticky” situation you’d like to brainstorm? Whether you want to learn how I went from “feedback-avoidant” to a “feedback machine” or you need help prepping for a tough conversation, I’m here to help. Let’s chat.